Goodbye

Fleeting glances, forced smiles

Fervent handshakes with heavy hearts

Sweet nothings whispered in the moonlight

Now it’s time to say goodbye.

 

Goodbye to the past. Hello to the future.

A brand new world awaits you.

Time to leave the ghosts of the past behind

With empty promises, soon to be broken.

 

The world that you so carefully built

Brick by the metaphoric brick,

Will soon be just a distant memory,

With no place in your future.

 

So it’s time to clench your fists

And it’s time to say goodbye

As the bells ring for the last time

Celebrating your bitter-sweet victory.

 

Bid farewell to the people,

Bid adieu to the walls,

And goodbye to the person

That you once were.

 

You were hurt and broken

When you first arrived.

You had said goodbye then,

Now it’s time to say it again.

 

Goodbyes are never easy.

This one’s especially hard.

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New Blog!

So I haven’t really had the time to write anything recently. More than time, it’s the mental exhaustion that comes with being a college student that’s hindering my creative juices. And since I haven’t posted for a month, you can imagine my condition.

But right now, I’m in a bad mood. And somehow, irritation just fuels up my brain to work faster. So here I am, ready to write!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not here to rant or criticize anything. I just wanted to let you guys know about a new blog that I’ve started. Does that make the first few lines of this post pointless? I hope not!

You see, this new blog is a visual journal I have to keep as a part of a course in FLAME, called ‘Ideas in Making: Understanding Visual Culture’. I’m supposed to document the ideas I get every week based on discussions in class. All my response papers and assignments will form a part of this journal. I  also have to document my ideation process for my final project.

Now I know all this sounds really boring and tedious, but it’s really not. I enjoy this class, and I know a lot of people out there who love to learn new things will find this stuff pretty interesting. Which is why I decided to keep this journal in the form of a blog.

Here’s a link to the blog. Follow it, don’t follow it; doesn’t really matter. If you like something though, do let me know. Maybe you can help me ideate for my final project.

I look forward to seeing you there!

The Adult Life

College life is hard.

As if balancing friends, studies and parents isn’t difficult enough, we also have to deal with attractions, crushes and raging hormones. Not that we don’t deal with all this in school.  But when you’re in college, the stakes are higher. And so is the chance of permanently screwing up your life.

And when you finally get a hang of it, it’s too late. College life is over, and you’ve been ushered into the next stage, ‘the adult life’, which is somehow much more difficult!

I haven’t reached that stage yet. Many of my friends have graduated this year, and are facing the confusion and insecurity that comes with suddenly being left on your own. The training wheels are off, and you have to ride by yourself in the big bad world! (It’s funny using a cycling metaphor, considering I don’t know how to ride one.)

Thankfully, I have a year left. A year to fill up with crazy and irresponsible behavior worth a lifetime! But my summer internship has given me a little taste of the ‘adult life’, and I’ve began to dread the real thing.

Sure, my boss is awesome, and I love the work I’m doing. But the thought of working this hard every single day for the rest of my life chills me to the bone! My friends shake their head at me and tell me I’m lazy, and I’ll never be able to keep a proper job with this attitude. And I laugh it off.

They could be right. Maybe I need to change my attitude towards ‘the adult life’. Maybe this is temporary, and I’m just not ready to grow up yet. Maybe I’ll never be ready to grow up. But maybe, just maybe, I’ll find a career that doesn’t need me to follow the norms of ‘the adult life’. One for which I don’t have to grow up.

After all, isn’t that the dream?

The Boy Who Rose Above

A few days back my bestie, Sam, put up a post on her blog about embracing your weirdness, and not giving a damn about what people say. Now Sam and I have had a tumultuous friendship, with enough drama to fill up not one, but several books. Don’t believe me? Read this! And I don’t always approve of her posts, or rather, the topics she writes on.

But this one touched me. Because she wrote about a guy from school. A guy who was excitable, and weird, and really into music, and somehow, not quite normal. And he had a hard time because of it. The other kids made fun of him, called him names, even beat him up sometimes! I remember this well, because some of those kids were my friends.

But that never stopped him, or brought him down. He was nice to everyone, even me! I was as nice to him as I possibly could be, without inviting trouble from my friends. I didn’t go out of my way to talk to him, but I never shunned him or made fun of him. I never stood up against my friends either.

I came in contact with him on Facebook a few years ago. After school, he had somehow slipped my mind. But I hadn’t slipped his. He told me about all the awesome things he had achieved after leaving school. College gave him the chance to shine. And boy, did he shine! He was achieving so much at such a young age, that it made me almost feel like I was wasting away my life!

Most importantly, he thanked me. He said he always remembered how nice I was to him in school. I didn’t deserve the gratitude, but I accepted it graciously. And I told him I was proud of him.

And I still am. I am not one of his close friends, and he isn’t one of mine. In fact, we’ve never even met since school ended! We don’t keep in touch that often. But when I think of him, or when we talk, I am filled with immense pride and happiness. Because Karan didn’t let his demons define him, he went out into the world and created his own meaning, his own life.

Why am I writing about him now? Because a few days ago I was sitting with those very friends, and they were discussing how this weirdo from school is back home. How he’s as annoying as ever. How he tried to talk to them nicely and hang out with them but they ran away.

And I just sat there with a smile on my face. Because I knew that Karan didn’t need me to defend him, to take his side. He didn’t care what these people thought of him. He would still be nice to them, and go on to achieve much more than they had ever dreamt of.

So this is a post for all those who live their life in fear, who care about what people think or say. Don’t.

Episode 3: Another Year Ends

Another year of college is over. And once again, I have to pack. Pack all my belongings, everything that I have used and been around since a year, and leave this room.

I should be excited, right? I’m going home.

But this room is home. Or at least it has been for the past one year.

And as I look around the room,  all the memories come back. Of celebrating birthdays and decorating the room. Of spending time with Doll,  my roommate; being sick together for months or simply being in each other’s company. Of silly tiffs, late night conversations and cuddles.

So as I start the process of emptying it, stripping it of every photograph, every poster, every decoration that made it home, I feel a strong emotion surfacing. Maybe nostalgia.

Image after image flashes through my mind; capturing the entire year in a montage. Happiness, sadness, pride, regret, pain, pleasure; all felt in an instant.

As I pick up the last pieces of luggage and head towards the door, I pause and look back one more time.

One more year to go.